I wish I could celebrate this wonderful day with you. I wish I could see the wonder in your eyes, taking in all the exciting new things Christmas brings. I wish I could be happy today. I wish I could have woken up to you, excited to show you the joy Christmas brings. Smiles all around.
I wanted to show you Christmas lights, but I stay inside instead.
I wanted to let you “decorate” the tree, but a tree was never purchased.
I wanted to hang your stocking up and fill it with toys, but I look at it and I can’t hang it. It hurts too much to know it will never be filled.
I wanted to sing Christmas carols to you, but I struggle to listen to them.
I wanted to let you try a sugar cookie your Auntie loves to bake, but they sit on the counter.
I wanted to teach you all about Christmas and what it means, but instead I’ve been avoiding Christmas all together. Wishing it would pass as quickly as it came.
I wanted to do something you honor you this Christmas, but I can’t bring myself to do anything.
I remember last year, talking to your daddy about it being our last Christmas together. Looking forward to our first Christmas with you. I miss you so much, that will never change. I will always want to hold you again, just one more time to say how much I love you.
Merry Christmas, Penelope. We love you so much.
Love, Mommy and Daddy